DOWNFALL IS A HOME

 

Dear Self,

It’s almost the end of the month and I want to tell you that I’m proud of you.

I’m proud of you because you really allowed yourself to love and forgive.

You allowed yourself to get crazy and went deeper to know how much a person you could be.

Whether it’s worst or best, you saw yourself.

You saw how a person gets easily distracted, demotivated, and destructed when it’s dictated with subconscious escape and emotion.

I’m proud of you for letting your guard down and allowing things to flow smoothly.

Admit it, you still get convenience because you find wisdom from all those things.

You were happy, terrified, confused, lonely, depressed, alone, and unstable.

You allowed yourself to grow and outgrow.

You dreamed and realized that it was eating you and you realized it’s time to give up.

You gave up and found comfort and rest.

You found comfort and you learned that you become hysterical when you are settled.

Be honest, you cannot settle, right?

I get it now why most people say that bravery is a choice, and a choice comes from the head – sometimes ruled by the heart. People say follow your heart, but I’d rather say, ‘follow your intuition’.

The intuition to try on different paths and choose what makes you feel alive.

We are not here in this world to sit and wonder what could happen when you took a step.

I learned that the heart is weak when you are thinking about other’s emotion and get rid of your own.

That’s when dishonesty starts.

I’m proud of you that you tried even if it’s uncomfortable for you just to make other people comfortable.

You were born differently but you acted normally.

You allowed yourself to become the prey but still, you chose the right time to become the hunter.

Not a hunter for pain, or to pain somebody

but a hunter for life lived with purpose.

I’m proud of you because this time, you are not running away.

You DID NOT run away.

And by not running away, you found wisdom.

You discovered that you are just so strong, brave, unstoppable, that no one could stop you from flying farther and learning deeper.

You can’t just fall down, because every time you land, you are building a safe place.

That’s when people call, they rise higher until they wait for their downfall.

This time, you are not falling.

You will not fall because down there as well, is your home.

The ghost you thought that would hunt you in the middle of the night is not a ghost and will never be a ghost, she is alive. She is your friend.

You are not your ghost. You are her. You are your real love. 

___

Maybe it's the same connotation with "you cannot unlove things, you just learn to love more"