Series of Thoughts (ENDED)

But I was...

And perhaps  my heart beat fast

from settling in foolishness

but I chose love anyway

without pretentions, just pure flow

Isn't it funny?

Countless times I denied

by spitting that I was aware

and not trapped

But I was.. because I chose love

07302022

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FAMILIAR 

It's like an old song from 2010

and I was unconsciously drawn

by the idea of finding a melody like yours,

and the palace we built.

As if it was the flame of love's endeavor 

and the next chapter's not the same anymore.

Owls of judgment, forest of forced beliefs, 

and destruction of fame were all I encountered.

It was nice to be in awe by the view

Knowing that I really knew

How I desired love back then

but warmth was caved by the den.

In your absence, I gained peace.

In your presence, I was stuck in niche.

Neither way, perhaps, it will just be the same

How I calmly looked at you when my love faded away. 

07312022

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T W I S T E D 

Your pride ceased the right words to say.

Your troubles aren't mine but my shells

are wide open to embrace them.

Yet in the middle of the night,

your brutality masks the eternity

and unconsciously bleed me.

Simply, you're good when

you speak your fears but

you chose cruelty instead.

08122022

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You know you love someone when their emotions drive you crazier than them.

You know you love someone when you try to avoid hurting them. 

You know you love someone when you choose to stay despite knowing what's better.

Yet, you know it's selfishness when you choose to stay knowing that they deserve better. 

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I tried to recall my pen that was flawlessly driven by your love. 

Yet, I couldn't find one and it was only when the shadow of the lover boy before you. 

Sure enough that my ink's now running flawlessly driven by love and choice. 

Now, you don't exist anymore in both forms. 

08252022

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It's Harder

And I realized that in order to be part of those people who choose love is to live in hell.

This pacing of laughter, doubt, and anticipations assure no settlement.

However, it promotes freedom, less worries, and stepping into the forwards.

I'd rather live here than to witness my heart lost all it's ability to harmonize my body.

Or, that wasn't deep love. It was a development of character. 

I totally agree that dealing with toxic relationship is hard.

But what's harder is that, unlearning all of those and trying to refine yourself,

with a better version to the new person.