Faith | Words | Travel

  I know when life throws uncertainties whether rocks or sands to kill and blind us, we think of each other. Our weaknesses sometimes lure us to call for help because maybe it’s not the idea that we still have each other but maybe it’s the point that we have lost some part of ourselves, and the present is just too much to deal with. When life feels like your bones are breaking and your soul is stretching, it’s true that memories in the past kick in. I must tell you that sometimes the devil wants us to settle into our old ways and set us up for mediocrity. We are victimized by wrong settlement, and the devil comforts us in our vulnerability. But, dear friend, life is eclipsed with afflictions and glory. You may feel like darkness resides in your heart for a long time, but one thing my hands intertwined for prayers is a hope in you. It doesn’t give me joy that you are broken inside and while you may be one, do not let your brokenness consume you in the middle of the night. ...

  Dear You, I want to tell you that I’m proud of you. I’m proud of you because you really allowed yourself to love and forgive. You allowed yourself to get crazy and went deeper to know how much a person you could be. Whether it’s worst or best, you saw yourself and y ou saw others' weaknesses and tolerated them. I’m proud of you for letting your guard down and allowing things to flow smoothly. There is convenience in wisdom, and wisdom in convenience.  You were happy, terrified, confused, lonely, depressed, alone, and unstable. You allowed yourself to grow and outgrow. You dreamed and realized that it was eating you and you realized it’s time to give up. You gave up and found comfort and rest. You found comfort and you learned that you become hysterical when you are settled. Be honest, you cannot settle, right? I get it now why most people say that bravery is a choice, and a choice comes from the head – sometimes ruled by the heart. People say follow...

 That golden feeling that will surely be brought to eternity is a real determinant of how we define beautiful temporary things. My heart knows that I had fun and I rushed into idea that to risk was a good thing. We were good, we were nice. However, we couldn't stand strong on the pedestals we built. It was a one-way ticket to goodbyes and misery.  I don't where to put myself, in a jail of punishment and dark world or in a room of courage and bravery. In a dome of love or in a world where there's you and me. Regret is indeed unfair to oneself and that was the only thing I knew when you tried to hold my hand and all I gave you were wounds. I know you are breaking now but I am too...  Long story short, there's different you and there's different me. My breeding didn't match yours and I couldn't handle it. The universe knew my heart was pure but my soul has another level of fire accumulated from all of my past experiences leading me to gather my feet in the plac...

We can never go wrong when the heart becomes heavy everytime we see the same shadow, same old town, same haunted house, and stagnant cycle. It's a moment of flashes and midnight fear to realize that you don't want the same story anymore. That you can only be more when you learn to identify what to give up.  Conviction beyond reasonable doubt is my talent. However, 8 seasons of laughter blinded me and youthfulness was in my blood. Silence and heartbeat were there for me to scream and understand that to love carelessly is a response to my deprived glittery youth. I was happy. But this happiness is not eternal. To get hurt and move is easy, to unlove is like a ladder with knife. 

It was when the night of terror field with doubts, fears, and confusion on what would it be like when your mind wasn't dark and my soul wasn't tearing apart. I saw through you and I could be your lover and bestfriend. I stayed and gave my all when all I knew that time was my heart went astray. I knew I loved you but I knew I needed to console myself from this war and I love you until now and forever. Truly, who could stay and who could leave when all I see in myself is a reflection of unknown desires and cruel salvation.  Those we admire find strength in complex art. It's true when my mind try to defend what's right and wrong, what's wise and moral. All I know is I love you but I cannot show you how. Not this time as well. Both of us have to deal with discomfort and we were both scared instead of embracing each other. We want us. But maybe, you need to trust more freely and I need to act more.  Funny how you wanted me to support and wait for you until you reach the ...

 Dear Father, I don’t know if it’s a universal sense, a heavenly intervention, or lack of worldly wisdom to think that I can hardly breathe knowing that sickness and death are knocking my father. I can still clearly remember how my tears became a character of indifference. It’s a different season to face that your parents are getting old and bones and flesh are getting weaker. I hated and loved my father. We fought and forgave. He kept saying “just pray” but he never carried the burden with me. He is my first heartbreak and it kills me to think that I care and do not at the same space and same time. I feel both of indifference and love. I can still remember he told me to fix my own problem because he couldn’t do something about it. Maybe he really cared but he was masking his love through cruelty. The very thing that haunts me is that I act like I don’t when I heard the news but my heart was racing to win the war of pride and love. His life built a legacy in my life to not ch...